We'll sit down together
And laugh with each other
About these days, these days
Hope you have an absolute cunt of a year. Die. pic.twitter.com/HwdjXVePKY— Limmy: TIX ON SALE NOW (@DaftLimmy) January 1, 2018
North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 3, 2018
Nope it’s because nobody wanted you to come. And you got the message. https://t.co/9xV7bFZQgL— Ed Miliband (@Ed_Miliband) January 12, 2018
David first experimented with Brexit in June 2016. Back then he thought it was just a bit of fun - he could handle it.— Damon Evans (@damocrat) January 29, 2018
19 months on, his Brexit use has spun out of control and the damage from his addiction is clear to see.
Kids: if you’re offered Brexit, just say no. pic.twitter.com/Uei5aoeuKc
There’s me at the Brexit negotiations. pic.twitter.com/sVuFOahZ3o— The Irish Border (@BorderIrish) February 8, 2018
I’ve just been behind this door to read the UK Gov’s secret assessment of Brexit on the economy. I’m not allowed to tell you what I’ve learnt, but i can tell you that I’m off to lie down in a very dark room.— Kezia Dugdale MSP (@kezdugdale) February 22, 2018
I may be sometime. π€¦π»♀️ pic.twitter.com/IJNnU2z0EH
There's a man skiing down Alexandra Parade in Glasgow... π pic.twitter.com/Rxp8HLF5b7— Capital Scotland (@CapitalScotland) February 28, 2018
....meanwhile in Glasgow. pic.twitter.com/RJDVz4JCrN— Mark Dallas (@RealMarkDallas) February 28, 2018
Btw, happy first day of meteorological spring.— Gerry Braiden (@BraidenGB) March 1, 2018
Health in Scotland summed up in one picture. Panic buying for bread and still they won't eat wholemeal..... pic.twitter.com/ojbSbdZ3V2— Lanarchist (@HypnoticJam) March 1, 2018
Heard multiple people whistling this as we all cleared the snow off our cars this morning. Gonna be a floor-filler.— Craig (@craigw619) March 2, 2018
JAMES BLUNT! https://t.co/TqEtbbt3YK— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) March 2, 2018
This is what we call a compliment in Scotland π€£ (be warned bad language)— Humza Yousaf (@HumzaYousaf) March 2, 2018
High praise indeed...! pic.twitter.com/r6U8B3hOSA
I mean, this deserves to win awards, right? pic.twitter.com/aooRcRn7xz— Michael McEwan (@MMcEwanbunkered) March 3, 2018
Had the pleasure of meeting Stephen Hawking at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.— Limmy: TIX ON SALE NOW (@DaftLimmy) March 14, 2018
Jim Bowen dead - 2 great mathematicians gone on the same day— Matthew Broughton (@Broughton500) March 14, 2018
Brilliant pic.twitter.com/5VJ34L42qK— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) March 16, 2018
Can’t shake the idea that there’s a chef in Salisbury’s Zizzi who knows he undercooked the chicken two weeks ago and is praying this all somehow turns out OK.— Sean Kemp (@Sean_Kemp) March 18, 2018
That awkward moment when you realise you're presenting @BBCNewsnight dressed up as Vladimir Putin pic.twitter.com/lRYsjbSxxe— Katie Grant (@kt_grant) March 20, 2018
A huge fire sending smoke across Glasgow, is being described as the biggest the city centre has ever seen. pic.twitter.com/TGLjV5gs5h— Global's Newsroom (@GlobalsNewsroom) March 22, 2018
I no longer have a manager. I can't be managed— ye (@kanyewest) April 25, 2018
What’s the downside? https://t.co/zuGUlQN6VW— Adam Boulton (@adamboultonSKY) April 27, 2018
I’m pretty certain my dad will be in this crowd! @AyrUnitedFC https://t.co/zVzgN5g7KG— Nicola Sturgeon (@NicolaSturgeon) April 28, 2018
— Ayr United (@AyrUnitedFC) April 29, 2018
What do you hear?! Yanny or Laurel pic.twitter.com/jvHhCbMc8I— Cloe Feldman (@CloeCouture) May 15, 2018
Speeches pic.twitter.com/Krmm85hVik— McFadden's Cold War (@Coldwar_Steve) May 15, 2018
“...take Meghan Greig Struth William Markle...” pic.twitter.com/NP0rPJ3RE8— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) May 19, 2018
Leaked - the reception pic.twitter.com/tgJsmN6r44— McFadden's Cold War (@Coldwar_Steve) May 21, 2018
DO YOU STILL WANT TO GET MY EMAILS AFTER GDPR TAKES EFFECT pic.twitter.com/BuchzIh1zB— Declan Dashin’ Through The Snow (@Tweet_Dec) May 23, 2018
Great meeting with @KimKardashian today, talked about prison reform and sentencing. pic.twitter.com/uOy4UJ41JF— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 30, 2018
on the upside...blue passports... pic.twitter.com/U9cIP2q3rx— Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) June 2, 2018
No. I can't make the original any more absurd than it already is. Trump's usurping me. pic.twitter.com/bNlxgTwEbe— McFadden's Cold War (@Coldwar_Steve) May 31, 2018
I've seen lots of "edited" versions of the G7 photo today, but this one is by far my favorite. (h/t @adchick22) pic.twitter.com/noXB9l6eTB— shauna (@goldengateblond) June 9, 2018
Trump/Kim summit declared a failure after neither leader manages to solve the conundrum: pic.twitter.com/4ysAgKkLis— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) June 12, 2018
Not sure about this new Blazing Squad video pic.twitter.com/MgoUI6Umul— Alan White (@aljwhite) June 13, 2018
Police drone footage of the Glasgow School of Art after the fire. It's still standing, but the next door O2 ABC venue has collapsed. #GSOA #gsafire pic.twitter.com/LDfQFLWgax— Paul Middleton (@ProfPMiddleton) June 16, 2018
Following superb goal from Lingard, Shearer has to be carried from the studio so a sedative can be administered. Rio is actually biting his own shoe to prevent excessive frothing. Lampard is rubbing his crotch against Gary’s elbow.— Justin Currie (@thejustincurrie) June 24, 2018
— Jamie Borthwick (@jamiekborthwick) June 26, 2018
Drink! Feck! Girls! Brexit! pic.twitter.com/SpcKq4FR3J— π±ππ π²πππππ (@bencooper) June 26, 2018
Imagine if this time three years ago someone had told you that prime time ITV on 28 June 2018 would be Jeremy Corbyn MP sitting next to Pamela Anderson giving his analysis of the England football game, with Danny Dyer shouting that David Cameron is a "twat". #GEB— Alex Nunns (@alexnunns) June 28, 2018
Life comes at you fast. pic.twitter.com/O2aai12uP2— Jamie Ross (@JamieRoss7) July 3, 2018
— Gary Cushway (@GaryCushway) July 7, 2018
Brexit Secretary David Davis resigns from the UK government https://t.co/NKvP8CSd0M— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) July 8, 2018
— ryan πΉ (@ryxnf) July 9, 2018
— wint MP (@parliawint) July 9, 2018
How to describe the current situation in this country... pic.twitter.com/jjes2bLNPz— James Brumpton (@Jim936) July 10, 2018
#itscominghome is literally becoming a greeting between strangers. I’m not even joking, this is happening:— Jamie Bartlett (@JamieJBartlett) July 10, 2018
“Coffee please”
“That’ll be £1.49”
“There you go.”
“Thanks”
“It’s coming home”
“It’s coming home”.
Heartbreak for England as the team is knocked out of the World Cup by Croatia, losing 2-1 in the semi-final #ENGCROhttps://t.co/LCICNpGGz1 #WorldCup— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) July 11, 2018
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) July 11, 2018
Watch live: #TrumpBaby balloon set for launch over London #TrumpUKVisit https://t.co/TUNeFHdq5s pic.twitter.com/r8Q42J8jmE— ITV News (@itvnews) July 13, 2018
Terrific movement from The Queen here. Gets behind the defender, goes one way then cuts back inside. Regal attacking play. pic.twitter.com/EXG0wG0IOj— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) July 14, 2018
Elon Musk calls British diver in Thai cave rescue a 'pedo' in baseless attack https://t.co/PIwTUcZqsK— The Guardian (@guardian) July 15, 2018
Me: [trying to reach the top shelf]— CiarΓ‘n, Irony Fist, Sworn Protector of Pun Lun (@Sarklor) July 15, 2018
Elon Musk: I'll save you! with my patented rocket-powered-
Me: nah it's fine I got a stool
Elon Musk: You're a paedophile
.@theresa_may says 70 "technical notices" for businesses and households will be published in Aug and Sept setting out how we can all prepare for a no-deal Brexit (should that be what happens). Yikes— Robert Peston (@Peston) July 18, 2018
— Euan Bennet (@JuanBonnets) July 25, 2018
Next year's Great British Bake Off, where contestants have to kill highly armed security guards outside fortified silos to access flour and sugar, should be the most exciting series yet.— David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) July 25, 2018
Stockpiling pic.twitter.com/0cpXu2OcdF— McFadden's Cold War (@Coldwar_Steve) July 26, 2018
Everyone can turn off the internet and go outside to play now, I've found the best meme. pic.twitter.com/kF3WpDqhwJ— That Mog One✨π§♂️ (@MogTheConfessor) July 26, 2018
I don't read French. What does this say? Is it good? pic.twitter.com/lx46V1jAj5— Patrick Andelic (@pkandelic) July 26, 2018
I can't decide if this is Inverness being super friendly by having signs specifically dedicated to giving Little Mix directions, or being horrible by trying to start rumours about them. pic.twitter.com/0U8G3CE2TK— Doug Daniel (@DouglasDaniel) July 28, 2018
Had the pleasure of meeting Barry Chuckle at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.— Limmy: TIX ON SALE NOW (@DaftLimmy) August 5, 2018
Had the pleasure of meeting former UN secretary-general Kofi Annan at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.— Limmy: TIX ON SALE NOW (@DaftLimmy) August 18, 2018
Thank you, for everything.— Runrig (@Runrig1973) August 19, 2018
π π π pic.twitter.com/6CWwDMJPcL— Dolly Parton (@DollyParton) August 20, 2018
MAGA=My Attorney Got Arrested https://t.co/hqwghLjS44— Charles Gasparino (@CGasparino) August 21, 2018
NO COLLUSION - RIGGED WITCH HUNT!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 23, 2018
Raab's tone is the same as the person on the airplane showing you the safety procedures.— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) August 23, 2018
dominic raab talking and sweating buckets while one vaguely terrifying tweet after another about Brexit appears next to him on sky news is my job interview aesthetic pic.twitter.com/QblDPu3t4U— Alan White (@aljwhite) August 23, 2018
I voted Leave and I will vote Leave till the day I die. We survived the blitz, we survived the plague, and we will survive #NoDealBrexit π¬π§ pic.twitter.com/qY4DMy4vUs— Limmy: TIX ON SALE NOW (@DaftLimmy) August 23, 2018
Don't get it wrong Bhoys and Ghirls nothing to do with people who really care about the club @CelticFC π€too much love and respect for you and the crest #CarefulWhoYouCallTheLeaderOfYours pic.twitter.com/3FR1YoJLHr— Moussa DembΓ©lΓ© (@MDembele_10) August 31, 2018
— Is Sir John Curtice On TV? (@JohnCurticeOnTV) September 5, 2018
— Dylan Brady (@dylanfbrady) September 6, 2018
— Dr Adam Levy (@ClimateAdam) September 6, 2018
— Unnamed Insider (@Unnamedinsider) September 6, 2018
— Gareth Bellamy (@thebellow) September 6, 2018
— Ben Towle (@ben_towle) September 6, 2018
A historic moment pic.twitter.com/Npjzh89ASY— Chris Nunn (@trig1988) September 6, 2018
This almost makes him seem too likable. pic.twitter.com/AEF9R6SGnf— Skeletor's Weenis (@Alex_kw92) September 6, 2018
And as I stared I counted— Limmy: TIX ON SALE NOW (@DaftLimmy) September 8, 2018
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides.
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of... https://t.co/ay4nRjBZU2
"In an interview on RT, Novichok nerve attack suspects say they were just tourists visiting Salisbury Cathedral" pic.twitter.com/IcU6akuYPH— Richard Littler (@richard_littler) September 13, 2018
I'm just saying I wouldn't be un-interested in a feature-length comedy about two cathedral-loving Russian gays whose dream holiday to Salisbury via Bow turns into a nightmare when they're accused of carrying out a deadly nerve attack.— πChristmas Steveπ (@stevenperkins) September 13, 2018
Had the pleasure of meeting Denis Norden at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.— Limmy: TIX ON SALE NOW (@DaftLimmy) September 19, 2018
He was 96— TheFirstOfTheGang (@gary_blay) September 19, 2018
The SPFL are giving serious consideration to playing both Betfred Cup semi-finals at Hampden on the same day. pic.twitter.com/N2MY5fpNZV— WWE SPFL π€Ό♂️⚽️ (@WWESPFL) September 27, 2018
Check out Daft Punk's new single "Get Lucky" if you get the chance. Sound of the summer. pic.twitter.com/iYrQ9UQi1H— LampHARD (@MrPoombastic) September 28, 2018
Prime Minister Theresa May dances on stage to ABBA's Dancing Queen as she prepares to give her speech to the Conservative Party conference— ITV News (@itvnews) October 3, 2018
Watch live: https://t.co/UdYThWRiJQ#CPC18 pic.twitter.com/AglmVE8Q5R
May is not negotiating an extension of the UK’s period in Brexit transition as a non-voting member of the EU but an “option” on an extension. It is all about Ireland and would land us with a backstop to the backstop to the backstop. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP https://t.co/IFthXtLlqC— Robert Peston (@Peston) October 18, 2018
— Accidental Partridge (@AccidentalP) October 18, 2018
Brexit pic.twitter.com/Jjb8eCueTR— Graham Linehan (@Glinner) October 21, 2018
It hasn't been his day, his week, his month, and it's unlikely to be his year! Blackpool police have shared this image of an alleged thief (left!) who looks uncannily like David Schwimmer (right). Police said Schwimmer was out of the country at the time of the offence π€£ pic.twitter.com/fvPgt07te2— BBC Breakfast (@BBCBreakfast) October 24, 2018
Officers, I swear it wasn't me.— schwim (@DavidSchwimmer) October 24, 2018
As you can see, I was in New York.
To the hardworking Blackpool Police, good luck with the investigation.#itwasntme pic.twitter.com/EDFF9dZoYR
“Wait a minute”— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 8, 2018
With mere weeks left to negotiate Brexit, Dominic Raab leaps to his feet and points at a big map.
“WE’RE A FUCKING ISLAND”
— daytime snaps (@daytimesnaps) November 12, 2018
CLICKBAIT https://t.co/1aR6SxEvKl— Matt Chorley (@MattChorley) November 14, 2018
I feel I should take the job of Brexit Secretary now. If only so that when I resign, Theresa May can finally be proved right than No Deal is better than a Baddiel.— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) November 15, 2018
Remember Darren Lamb and Barry from extras, this is them now. Feel old yet? pic.twitter.com/bUyYzt3MMc— Jason (@JasonJ1987) November 15, 2018
— DaveP (@DavePee) November 16, 2018
WATCH: One of the most hilarious post-match interviews you will see.— STV News (@STVNews) November 17, 2018
Gary Anderson has been accused of farting during a darts match.
He said the stench smelt like 'rotten eggs' π·
Read more here ➡️ https://t.co/0aVl0pDwnn
(Video courtesy of RTL7 TV) pic.twitter.com/LwKOe9JAkM
FULL TIME | Scotland 3-2 Israel!— Scotland National Team (@ScotlandNT) November 20, 2018
We have a play-off place! We're promoted to League B!
Thank you for your incredible support.#NothingMattersMore pic.twitter.com/dhXSrZjRYI
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) November 20, 2018
I thought that Sky Mobile’s “Hello Possible” was the worst advertising slogan in existence, but I’ve just become aware of Deliveroo’s “Eat More Amazing” and I’ve just set fire to myself in protest.— Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) November 27, 2018
ALL I DID WAS CONSPIRE WITH A HOSTILE POWER TO HARM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! pic.twitter.com/4vW4lvNpfJ— Naveed Jamali (@NaveedAJamali) November 30, 2018
WHAT. A. NIGHT. #superayraway pic.twitter.com/aMVr4VCio6— Ayr United (@AyrUnitedFC) November 30, 2018
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) November 30, 2018
Michael Gove saying the government will make Brexit a success whilst staring directly at government stats that show it’ll be terrible is pure undiluted Brexit pic.twitter.com/zD6zyEPKwv— James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 2, 2018
Government humiliated and found in contempt of parliament - by 311 to 293— Robert Peston (@Peston) December 4, 2018
I'm enjoying this level of chaos. By Friday the House of Commons will be full of goats and a man screaming 'beetroot' with a sieve on his head and the Teletubbies writing 'stop Brexit' over the walls with Tubbycustard, and Theresa May will announce 'I offer stability'.— Mark Steel (@mrmarksteel) December 10, 2018
Two and a half hours in, and it's come to this...— Philip Sim (@BBCPhilipSim) December 10, 2018
Rupa Huq accuses Theresa May of a "premature parliamentary ejaculation", to which the prime minister replies that "if she looks carefully she'll see that I'm not capable of a parliamentary ejaculation"
Britain has fallen pic.twitter.com/WFPV6DwFbc— Julia Macfarlane (@juliamacfarlane) December 10, 2018
When you realise the £ has plummeted and need to find something quick to take down to Cash Converters. pic.twitter.com/cBuXjQMplN— Simon Pegg (@Simon_Pegg) December 10, 2018
NOT NOW, ALIENS https://t.co/pPcaYmZLUZ— Lucy Wainwright (@Whoozley) December 10, 2018
We have reached DEFCON1 levels of political crisis when JC is on tv pic.twitter.com/7jbnmLRCA3— Julia Macfarlane (@juliamacfarlane) December 11, 2018
we still have 21 days pic.twitter.com/P1575rjNRm— Jon Stone (@joncstone) December 10, 2018
Brexit: What happens next? A handy guide. pic.twitter.com/kB0FmDddOz— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) December 11, 2018
this is all your fault you massive bell end.— burhdurhmurn (@beardyman) December 12, 2018
She's like a faulty Terminator. She simply will not stop. But also she is not very good.— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) December 12, 2018
International https://t.co/V8ABBFkAVu— Is Sir John Curtice On TV? (@JohnCurticeOnTV) December 13, 2018
WITCH HUNT!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 13, 2018
Update: now there’s an attempt to amend the motion that still might not be voted on to see if they can make it into a thing that the first lot were trying to find out if they had enough votes for, all because everyone is very unhappy about not being able to vote on something else— Philip Sim (@BBCPhilipSim) December 17, 2018
It’s like we’ve declared war on ourselves. There is no other way to put it. https://t.co/hEqOmao3nV— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) December 18, 2018
Matt Hancock is a fridge magnate. https://t.co/iltpd67ABd— Remoaning Myrtle #FBPE (@TheAndyMaturin) December 18, 2018
House of Commons now full-on family Christmas dinner https://t.co/zkYT17RMjr— Ben Machell (@ben_machell) December 19, 2018
and a very Happy Christmas and season’s greetings to everyone pic.twitter.com/byAXBEfgx6— Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) December 20, 2018
Brits: "We got through WW2 we can get through anything"— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) December 20, 2018
Also Brits: "A small remote control helicopter has shut down one of the biggest airports for a day causing panic"
Theresa May outside Gatwick Airport pic.twitter.com/yeLJ2TWNHQ— W⚓️ (@Wkhnage) December 20, 2018
A break in play as the Referee asks that a jobby is shovelled off the pitch.— The Spartans FC (@spartansfc) December 22, 2018
Police tell BBC News they “cannot discount the possibility that there may have been no drone at all”. https://t.co/HeVbZQGUix— Tom Pugh (@TomPugh212) December 23, 2018
ΡΡ ΡΡΡΠΈΡΡ https://t.co/YdgP4Iq8oR— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) December 24, 2018
BREAKING: Santa shot down by military police over Gatwick.— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) December 25, 2018
“Aye we were shite in Perth, but we got the 3 points. Under Pedro or Murty that’s a draw at best. That’s the Stevie G effect right there lads. Buzzin for the 29th now, especially with Rogic out WATP” pic.twitter.com/a9qZrKALlq— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) December 25, 2018
At least we can put all the hatred and division of the last year behind us and enjoy the Celtic Rangers game— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) December 29, 2018
All our troublesChief Constable of Sussex: Some of the drone sightings may have been police drones looking for other drones. #bbcr4today— Matthew Scott (@Barristerblog) December 29, 2018
We'll lay to rest
And we'll wish we could come back
To these days, these days
Click here for 2019 Predictions
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